Trauma or Loss Anniversary Prayer
On the anniversary of a trauma or loss, this prayer helps us feel God’s help and peace when the calendar reminds us of a time of tragedy.
Trauma or Loss Anniversary Prayer
Dear Lord, it’s the anniversary of a terrible day in my life that I wish I could forget. It’s strange how a simple calendar date can evoke so many memories. For months, I’ve dreaded this day and agonized about how I would get through it.
I’ve worried, fretted, cried my eyes out. I’ve thought about staying in bed all day with the covers over my head. I just want this day to pass so I can forget what happened and turn the page on the calendar.
Expressing my feelings about this anniversary might be helpful, but I haven’t been able to. God, give me the courage to reach out to a kind soul who would listen and try to understand.
Help me, Lord, to realize that it’s OK to acknowledge my feelings––to cry or shout or pound on a pillow. It’s normal to feel the way I do after what happened.
Dear Lord, I’ve been hard on myself over this time for giving in to my emotions of fear, anger, and sadness, but through it all, I’ve managed to live my life.
Maybe I should be proud of my resilience. Help me feel good about myself again, God.
Lead me, Lord, to find a way to spend this day in a positive way. Place someone in my path to whom I can offer kindness. Maybe I can spend time with friends or family––people who love me and want to help me get through this day surrounded by good thoughts.
With Your help, dear God, I’ll overcome the grief associated with this anniversary and move forward with joy, as You intend me to do. Amen
About this Trauma or Loss Anniversary Prayer
My husband Jeff and I were enjoying a meal at our favorite seafood restaurant in Galveston when our cell phone emergency alarms shrieked simultaneously. Something had happened to our 26-year-old daughter Brooke! Frantic, we ran for our car and headed for Houston, an hour away. I called Brooke’s number and getting no response, I called her boyfriend, who had arrived on the scene right after her car had been demolished by a drunk driver.
Matt had been able to ride with her in the ambulance to Memorial Hermann Hospital, a premier trauma center in Houston. Praying all the way, we rushed to the ER, where we learned that Brooke’s ankle had been crushed, all the ligaments torn from her tibia.
That night, a prominent trauma surgeon performed emergency surgery on Brooke’s ankle and leg. She would endure three more surgeries and several intense rehabs. And her ankle would never be the same.
The anger I felt at the injustice of the situation consumed me. Brooke was a popular tenth-grade English teacher and assistant soccer coach. She didn’t deserve this! The man who hit her went to jail, but that was small consolation.
Crying and Learning to Thank God on the Anniversary of the Trauma
I dreaded the anniversary of the accident because I knew I’d be reliving all the horrible details. But that day came. I’d been crying, but I regained my composure before I talked to Brooke. She was aware of the date and the memory was painful, but she had a soccer game to coach, so she had to go.
That night, Jeff reminded me that amid Brooke’s trauma, there was Grace. It could have been worse; Brooke was alive. Her boyfriend was able to comfort her in the ambulance. She went to a premier trauma center and was operated on by a skilled surgeon. We thanked God for those things and finally, mercifully, that dreadful day ended.
The Trauma Anniversary Five Years Later
Five years have passed since that terrible winter night. Over time, I’ve dealt with fear of Brooke driving in Houston, anger at the impaired driver, sadness about the disruption in Brooke’s life. I remember the anniversary every year and I’m sure Brooke does as well. But she doesn’t speak about it, so I don’t either. As her parent, I react to the anniversary differently than she does. Time helps, as does the fact that Brooke has gotten on with her life. I feel fortunate that although Brooke experienced this trauma, she was able to recover most of her mobility. God’s Grace.
What the Experts Say About Trauma and Loss Anniversaries
An anniversary can be a joyful cause for celebration, but if the anniversary evokes a trauma or loss, the result may be dread and pain.
Things that Lead to Trauma and Loss
Some of the traumas we may experience include abuse, assault, accident or natural disaster, death, divorce, school violence, or being a witness to harm. Some traumas involve collective events, like 9/11.
Others are deeply personal, to the extent that we have never spoken about what happened. Although the anniversary may involve a single day, the time leading up to that day may cause us intense anxiety.
Special days, like Valentine’s Day, may be hurtful if we are recently divorced or widowed. Anything that causes us to be deeply hurt physically or emotionally can be considered loss or trauma. The intensity with which we feel the loss varies with each person.
Strategies for Coping with Trauma and Loss Anniversaries
Although the reality of the anniversary’s approach can’t be avoided, mental health experts offer suggestions on coping with the anniversary of trauma.
First, we need to acknowledge our feelings and to understand that our reaction to the trauma is normal. It is wise for us to dedicate a time for reflecting or grieving before the anniversary arrives.
Anticipating what we might need during the anniversary is a good strategy.
Taking time prior to the anniversary to have an honest talk with ourselves and with someone close to us is an excellent idea.
It is beneficial to recognize triggers that might make the anniversary more painful than it needs to be.
Although it may be difficult, we need to separate the past from the present––to stay in the here and now.
When we are dealing with loss we may find comfort in special remembrance days. The month of April is designated Bereaved Spouse Awareness month. Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month is observed in October.
Seeking professional help when needed is highly recommended.
On a physical level, engaging in deep breathing exercises or practicing yoga can help us relax and cope with anniversary stress.
Finally, experts recommend that we make new, pleasant memories to counteract the painful ones.
Other Helpful Articles by Pat Dyson
Prayer for Families Expecting a Rainbow Baby After a Pregnancy Loss or Baby Loss
Grieving Grandparents Prayer after the Death of a Grandchild
Accidental Fall Victim Prayer for Physical and Emotional Recovery
Copyright Pat Dyson 2025. All rights reserved.
