Finding your marriage partner and soul mate can become much easier through prayer. Prayer can help you think through the qualities you are looking for in a husband or wife. Praying for the right person to share your life with can also save you time and help you avoid mistakes by eliminating potential partners who are not right for you.

shell and roses 030If God has put a longing in your heart to find someone to share your life with, prayer is the best place to start. This “Finding Your Marriage Partner and Soul Mate Prayer” will help you meditate on what healthy partnerships look like, the things that you most value in life and the top things that you are looking for in a potential mate. Many successful couples tell us that one or both of them made up a mental or written prayer list about their future partner and that this prayer played a key role in their finding each other.

Finding Your Soul Mate and Marriage Partner Prayer

Dear God,

I have a longing in my heart to find someone to share my life with. Just as you are able to guide me in all other aspects of my life, I believe that you can guide me in finding the person to share my life with.

I begin by praying that you will show me among those I know a healthy role model of a good partnership where the relationship is based on Your love, mutual respect and a strong sense of belonging to each other. I now meditate on the healthy relationships I have observed and name to you the qualities that I see that I would like to have in my own future relationship_____________________________________

On the other hand, I know that maybe my thoughts about romance and relationships that I’ve picked up from the media, culture, my family and friends may be unrealistic and not exactly healthy and could lead me down the wrong path. I now ask that you will show me the ways I may be looking for love that may not be the best________________________________________________________________

Before I look for my life-long mate, please help me see who I am first so I can know who they are when I met him/her.

This is the most important thing that I need in life _________________________________________

This is one dream not related to romance that I would regret if I never pursue it ______________________________

This is the kind of family I’ve always wanted ___________________________________________

These are the values that I hold most dear______________________________________________

This is one mission that I feel I have in life______________________________________________

This is one thing that I enjoy doing that I would never want to give up _______________________

God, I thank you that you know me and made my unique personality. You have given me talents, abilities, dreams, challenges and strengths. You also know the person out there who would be a good life partner for me, with whom we would both be much stronger and happier than we each would be alone.

In the very beginning of history you said, “‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.’” (Genesis 2:18 NIV) And so I claim this promise and pray for a helper suitable for me. It also says in the Bible, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24 NIV) And so I claim this promise that I will find a person with whom I can be united with such a strong and lasting partnership that it feels like we’re one person instead of two different individuals.

You say in the Bible, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” (Philippians 4:6) With this in mind, I now ask your Holy Spirit to guide me as I create a prayer list of the things I hope to find in a marriage partner.

Here are ten traits that I would like my future spouse to have _________________________________________________________

Here is one thing that he/she absolutely must have ____________________________________

Here is the kind of faith and life view he/she must have___________________________________

Here are some specific but not as major things I am also looking for______________________________

Here is a little thing about them that could be a sign from You that someone I meet may be the one I have been looking for. (note: this could be physical traits, interests, talents, etc.)__________________


Now that I have made my list, I pray that you will guide me as time goes on if I need to add or subtract things from it.

I thank you that you have heard my prayer. Continue to help me see your possibilities for my future. Keep me open to your guidance. Help me to trust that you are at work in my life even when I don’t seem to be making any progress. Give me a good group of friends to support me in this quest. I pray this in the name of Jesus, Amen.

Tips and Observations

I have personally met a number of couples over the years who credit prayer with finding the right spouse. Here are some examples.

beach vacation 10 168A young woman working in New York City told me how hard it was to meet the right kind of guy. She wrote a very specific prayer list of what she was looking for in a husband. She later met a co–worker who fit the list and he became her husband.

A rock band lead singer I interviewed was starting to think that maybe God wanted her to remain single the rest of her life because good relationships were so hard to form on the road year round. Since she didn’t think she was ever going to get married, she made up an impossible prayer list with over 60 specific items on it down to the hazel eye color she wanted. One night she happened to overhear a visitor to another band member having an interesting spiritual conversation after a show. God surprised her when he turned out to have everything on her list, including hazel eyes. They are married now and have two children.

A writer friend was a widow in her 50’s who prayed a list that included that she’d always wanted to marry a minister. She even added to the list, “There have to be sparks.” A widower in Oklahoma read one of her magazine articles and called. They began a long distance relationship that led to marriage.

David Shelton, one of the writers on our website tells his own story about how both he and his future wife made up their own lists of what they were looking for in a mate. When they met on an overseas mission project they discovered that they had described each other in their list. David’s article on praying for your future spouse after divorce.

From my own personal experience, I had a short mental list of qualities in mind before meeting my husband. However I said one very significant prayer just a few months prior to meeting him. At the time I was dating a young man who felt that religion was only for those who weren’t very intellectual. He expressed skepticism about my personal faith. After an argument with him I prayed that God would send me someone who would find my faith an attractive part of who I was rather than see it as a short coming.

When writing this article, I googled “soul mate” and found that some psychologists question the thought of there being one perfect person out there for us. I realized that I don’t personally believe in soul mates the way they’re portrayed in movies and novels where there’s a single person destined for you and if fate keeps you from meeting them you’ll never be happy. When one of our college age sons had fallen for a girl he’d met over the summer he asked me, “How do you know if a person is ‘the one.’” I told him, “I believe that you make the person you choose to marry ‘the one’ by committing to love and honor them and by building a life together.”

I believe that God is able to help us choose a marriage partner wisely. I also believe that once we have made our choice, He gives us the ability to build a lasting, satisfying relationship.

Other related links

Prayer for Healing a Broken Heart

Praying for a Future Spouse after Divorce

Praying for Direction and Discernment

Romantic Relationships Prayer

Romantic Prayer

Broken Engagement Prayer

Copyright Karen Barber 2014.  All rights reserved.