This Family Problems Prayer helps you find the root causes of family problems from a biblical perspective so you can bring about peace, reconciliation, forgiveness and God’s love in your family. This article gives you tools and insights into how to pray to bring about results that will have a lasting effect in resolving family problems.
Many people are searching for answers on how to solve family problems. It is true that there are things one can’t imagine how painful until it hits home. How do you deal with the news of sickness; divorce; adultery, addiction, or anger when it affects your life every day? When a family experiences problem’s, it affects the whole family in various ways. Whether you are experiencing family problems now or know someone who is, it is important to know that God can transform any situation and bring about wholeness. It is important that we begin to look at some of the root causes of family problems from a biblical perspective so that we can begin to pray and be victorious and defeat the devil’s plans to destroy the family. This will open spiritual channels that will bring about healing, deliverance and wholeness into whatever situation you may be facing today. Here is a prayer strategy to help you receive God’s help with your family problems
Prayerfully meditate on how God created love as His original plan for families starting with Adam and Eve in the Bible
The heart of the Father’s love is the family. His purpose was to have a family that loved Him and loved each other. His original plan was that his family would live forever with him in the Garden of Paradise. After the fall of Adam and Eve, sin ruled in the hearts of man and we begin immediately to see the effects of sin on the family. This truth is found in creation. First, we see that God created man and woman. Together they are the reproducers of life. “then the Lord God formed man from the dust of the ground and breathed life into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being” (Genesis 2: 7) God then created woman from the rib of Adam. “Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman, for she was taken out of man.” That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.” (Genesis 2:20-25) First man, then woman, husband and wife, and marriage. Then God said be fruitful and multiply (physically) reproduce offspring and (spiritually) reproduce fruit and glorify “His” name.
Learn from the Scriptures how God continued to give help, counsel and warnings even after Adam and Eve became disobedient and turned away from God.
After the fall of man (eating of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil) sin began to run rampant in the earth. Adam & Eve were removed from the garden, but God is still with them as the following scriptures tell us and they are continuing to fulfill the command of the Lord. “Adam made love to his wife Eve, and she became pregnant and gave birth to Cain. She said, “With the Lord’s help I have brought forth a man.” Later she gave birth to his brother Abel. Now Abel kept flocks, and Cain worked the soil”. (Genesis 4:1-2) The time comes when they both bring an offering to the Lord and the Lord favors Abel’s offering because it was an acceptable offering. Cain is angry and jealous that his offering was not favored. The Lord speaks to Cain. “Then the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.” (Genesis 4:6-7)
Cain had already purposed in his heart to murder his brother instead of taking authority over the sin in his heart. He chose not to get his heart right with God by doing what is right (Giving God an acceptable sacrifice and not withholding) but he instead opened the door to sin and allowed it to have its way despite being told that he could rule over the sin. “He plotted a scheme by inviting his brother to go out to the field and while they were there in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him.” (Genesis 4:8-15)
Ask God if your family is facing the dangers of anger or jealousy
Is anger, jealously, or envy an issue you are facing in your family? Emotions can run high and out of control which causes physical, mental, and emotional pain in families. Sometimes we don’t know how to talk to one another and so we allow our words to bring harm. Many families deal with anger and it affects the entire family. Anger over injustice is not evil if you use that anger to bring about positive change.
A biblical example of that is in the book of Nehemiah. When Nehemiah heard of the hardship that his people were enduring trying to rebuild their lives after captivity the bible says he was angry. “I was very angry when I heard their outcry and these complaints. (Nehemiah 5:6) The bible also said that after he thought it over, he brought charges against the nobles and the officials. “After thinking it over, I brought charges against the nobles and the officials.” (Nehemiah 5:7). Nehemiah used his anger to bring about justice for the people.
I remember a time in which I was angry and in great distress at the direction of the church. The Lord had shown me that he was displeased over the lawlessness that was running rampant and the carnality of man that was sweeping over the house of God. The Lord spoke to me through Psalm 4:4; He said “When you are disturbed, do not sin; ponder it on your beds, and be silent. Offer right sacrifices and put your trust in the Lord.”
As I meditated on the scripture, he revealed to me that to ponder it own my bed and be silent meant to allow Him to guide my thoughts and give me direction. The spirit also told me that to offer “right sacrifices” for me in this situation was to offer prayer for the church. I was to continue to trust in the Lord, be faithful and pray.
Ephesians 4:6 is another good reference to dealing with anger. “Be angry but do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your anger” When dealing with family problems or any problem that arises in our relationships we must not be led by our emotions. This is an example of taking our emotions to God allowing God to deal with them through the word. Cain was operating in Jealously and anger which lead to the physical murder of his own brother. So, you see whether we are the one who is angry or the one being affected by another person’s anger, we can take it to God in prayer and he will give us guidance and deliver us. Anger is an emotion that Satan uses to get you to act in a way that will bring physical, spiritual or emotional harm to another and also to yourself. “No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.” (1 Corinthians 10:13)
Ask God if alcohol or other addictions are magnifying anger problems as it did with Noah
God destroyed the first created beings through a flood because he saw that the hearts of man was nothing but evil. (Genesis 6:1-8) “And God saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. And it repented the LORD that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him at his heart.” (Genesis 6:5-6) God chose Noah’s blood line to repopulate the earth. “But Noah found grace in the eyes of the LORD.” (Genesis 6:8)
After the account of the flood Noah is found drunk by his son Ham. This is significant because there is no mention of alcohol from Adam up to Noah. “And Noah began to cultivate the ground, and he planted a vineyard and became drunk.” (Genesis 9:20) Noah’s son Ham finds his father drunk and passed out and his brothers cover up his nakedness with a robe. Noah wakes up from his drunkenness and finds out somehow that his son Ham has seen his nakedness and becomes angry and pronounces a curse on Canaan his grandson.
We see again the spirit of anger operating through “the spirit of alcohol”. We must be very careful the words we use in anger.
Our words have so much power to turn the course of a person’s life. The bible says the tongue is a deadly poison. “with it we bless the Lord and Father, and with it we curse those who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing.” (James 3:9-10). A whole generation of people were cursed out of anger due to the decision of one man who chose to plant a vine yard and consume too much of the product. We cannot fight spiritual matters from natural minded perspective.
Perhaps alcoholism or other drugs are an issue you are facing with someone in your family. This is never easy because the person with the addition must acknowledge they need help. God can deliver your family members from the spirit of addiction.
There is no family problem that is too hard for God. Yes, I have seen him do it! Everything that God made was good and it can be used for his good and not for evil.
Many people have questions about whether the bible says we should drink or not drink. The scriptures say, “Don’t destroy yourself by getting drunk, but let the Spirit fill your life.” (Ephesians 5:8) So, if alcohol causes one to lose all spiritual thought and presence, it should not be consumed. Alcoholism is an addition that has ruined many families, but God is able to deliver. We must deal with the issues that face our family and through prayer and seeking God through the word declare and decree that the spirit of alcohol will not follow the generational lines in your family. My prayer is that this article will bring some new spiritual insight in how to deal with family problems that will awaken your spirit to seek God in a new way. We must not just focus on the matter at hand but also seek to break generational curses.
Ask God to reveal to you if persistent generational problems are affecting your family like it affected King David’s
King David was a man after God’s own heart who had his share of family problems. His daughter Tamar was raped (2 Samuel 13) by her half-brother Amnon; Absalom, King David’s who carried the anger of his sister’s misfortune in his heart for years, plotted the murder of Amnon in his heart and finally carries it out (2 Samuel 13:23-38). Absalom lies with his father’s concubines. (2 Samuel 16:22) We all know the story of David and Bathsheba. David commits adultery with Bathsheba and murders her husband on the front line of battle; another murder plotted and planned. (2 Samuel 11:12).
Wrapped up in one family we see the spirit of lust, anger, murder, adultery, deceit, rape, and the lack of discipline. As we continue to read David’s story we see the consequences of his sin on his family and how it is carried out for generations. The Prophet Nathan pronounces God’s judgement upon David and his family for his sin “the sword would never depart from David’s house.” (2 Samuel 12:10)
When you see patterns of sin repeated in the bloodline of our family, we should ask God to give a deeper revelation. Ask God to show you how through his word and prayer to break generational curses and patterns of sin. Let God use you to be the one to carry the mantle of deliverance for your family and future generations that are to come.
Does there appear to always be chaos in your family? Make a prayer list of the things you do recognize and ask the Father to reveal anything you can’t see. Begin to pray and ask for forgiveness for the sins of our ancestors that may be having an effect on our family and future generations. The Lord told David that due to his sin “the sword would never depart from David’s house.” There was constant chaos in his family. This speaks again to what God has spoken regarding sin “The LORD is slow to anger and abundant in lovingkindness, forgiving iniquity and transgression; but He will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and the fourth generations.” (Numbers 14:18) Many mothers and fathers and children are suffering and blaming themselves for family issues that are beyond even their control in the human flesh. You will need to fight this battle fully dressed in your spiritual armor. (see Ephesians 6:10 – 18) It is then that you will see results.
Ask God if your family is suffering due to a lack of correction or discipline like the family of Eli the Priest
Let’s look at one final family and I will share final words and prayer points to help you move forward. In the book of 1 Samuel 2:12-36 we find the story of Eli and his wicked sons. “Eli’s sons were scoundrels; they had no regard for the Lord” (vs 12) Hophni and Phineas, Eli’s sons sin was in dishonoring God by stealing portions of the offering sacrifices which included their portion, the offerer’s portion and the portion that was Holy only to God. “This sin of the young men was very great in the Lord’s sight, for they were treating the Lord’s offering with contempt.” (vs 17)
Please read 1 Samuel 2:12-36 in its entirety and Exodus 29 for a greater understanding of the sins of Eli’s sons and how they defiled the holy things of the Lord. In addition to this, Eli’s sons were also sleeping with the women who served at the entrance of the tent of meeting. The bible says that Eli heard about everything his sons were doing to all Israel. Knowing the evil deeds of his sons, Eli failed to bring the proper discipline to his sons. Recorded in 1 Samuel 2:23-25 “So he said to them, “Why do you do such things? I hear from all the people about these wicked deeds of yours. 24 No, my sons; the report I hear spreading among the Lord’s people is not good. 25 If one person sins against another, God may mediate for the offender; but if anyone sins against the Lord, who will intercede for them?” His sons, however, did not listen to their father’s rebuke, for it was the Lord’s will to put them to death.”
There is no mention that Eli brought any correction or disciplinary action to his sons, so they continued to operate in this manner. Just as with David who also did not bring disciplinary action or correction to his sons, judgement was pronounced on Eli’s family and his entire priestly line. “Therefore the Lord, the God of Israel, declares: ‘I promised that members of your family would minister before me forever.’ But now the Lord declares: ‘Far be it from me! Those who honor me I will honor, but those who despise me will be disdained. The time is coming when I will cut short your strength and the strength of your priestly house, so that no one in it will reach old age, and you will see distress in my dwelling. Although good will be done to Israel, no one in your family line will ever reach old age. Every one of you that I do not cut off from serving at my altar I will spare only to destroy your sight and sap your strength, and all your descendants will die in the prime of life. (1 Samuel 2:30-33)
As we reflect on these families of the bible we see a great pattern of sin. The same sins carried out in various forms; disobedience; murder; rape; lust; adultery; alcohol abuse; deceit, lack of discipline and rebellion. This gives a deeper understanding of the struggles that families face and how sin affects the entire family and spreads through generations. We also see that the sins of the fathers are punished to the third and fourth generations as stated in Exodus 34:7 “maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin. Yet he does not leave the guilty unpunished; he punishes the children and their children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation.” (Exodus 34:7)
Ask for God’s help in doing the necessary prayer work about your family’s problems instead of looking for quick and easy fixes
You may be asking yourself “do I really need to know all of this? I am only asking is for a quick remedy in how to deal with my family problem and make it go away.” If this is your thought, then ask yourself “has the problem been resolved or is there still no resolve?” Are you praying and feel like you are not getting the answer you want? It could be because God wants to give you deeper spiritual insight so that you can be the one to carry the mantle of deliverance for your entire family and generations to come but you just want it to go away. The bible says, “my people are destroyed for lack of knowledge” (Hosea 4:6). God wants his people to have wisdom and insight. God wants us to be overcomers so that we can reach back and help another family find freedom and deliverance. Many times we try to find solutions to family problems by talking to our friends and other people who really can’t help. Today I am challenging you to look deeper, seek God, and be willing to do the work necessary to bring about a different outcome, a permanent change in your family.
It takes work and effort to see results through prayer that will make a lasting affect to resolve problems. We must be willing to do the work. The consequences are too great not to. This means working to bring about peace, reconciliation; and forgiveness, loving God and allowing God to teach us how to love our family.
How to start praying about your family problems
So where do you start? As a woman of prayer, I suggest that you start with prayer.
As you pray write a list of the things that the spirit reveals.
From your list write down scripture that speak to the situation and declare them over your situation. Hold God to his promises of deliverance and healing. He is faithful and will do it.
Ask Him to give you spiritual insight into the situation. As God begins to speak to you about the situation you will begin to see things take a turn.
Keep in mind that it may appear to get worse before it gets better. When the enemy knows we have gained territory he always tries to turn up the heat. Don’t let that discourage you. Below is a prayer to help you get started.
Family Problems Prayer
I give you all the praise and glory for you are worthy. I will enter your gates with thanksgiving and your courts with praise! You are the God of creation, the God of heavens armies. There is nothing too hard for you. I come with a heart of expectation knowing that you already know what we are facing in our family. You know all things God. Please teach me and help us as a family to communicate in ways that are effective.
You are my Abba Father, the creator of the universe but you gave me this family so that we could love you and love one another and allow our love to reflect your glory. Help us to practice giving our emotions to you and allowing you to give us wisdom and guidance.
Help us to control our emotions so that we do not bring harm to each other with our words. I am angry and tired of this situation my family is facing and I want the pain to stop. I understand that I can do so much harm with what I say. Help me to be still and to know that you are God.
Help me to put into practice what your word says about anger according to Psalm 4;4 “When you are disturbed, do not sin; ponder it on your beds, and be silent. Offer right sacrifices and put your trust in the Lord.”
Also in Ephesians 4:6 “Be angry but do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your anger” A murdering spirit operates to bring both physical and spiritual death because the words we speak out of emotions are aimed like arrows to the heart.
You warn us about our tongue and the damage it can and often does in James 3:5 “Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark”.
Father we have been in this place for a long time, but I am trusting that as I continue to seek you that you will bring us out. Open my spiritual eyes to see and spiritual ears to hear you. I will be the mantel of deliverance and healing for my family and for the future generations to come
In Jesus Name. Amen
Other helpful articles by Sondra Green
Copyright Sondra Green 2018. All rights reserved.